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Lost Season 5
In order to properly recap the two hour season premiere of "Lost," it is going to have to be mapped out in a linear fashion. Before I start, understand that during these two hours, all of the stories are constantly moving intertwined with one another, so that one second you may be in the present time with Hurley and Sayid, and then immediately flash to three years earlier (or sixty years earlier) with the Islanders. The fact that all of this is done in a coherent way should earn the entire "Lost" staff an honorary Emmy immediately. Technically these two episodes, "The Lie" and "Because You Left," are separate, but for the sake of sanity they will be treated as one. Are you ready? Watch out for fire arrows.
Let's start with the Oceanic 6: Kate, Sun, Jack, Sayid, Hurley, and toddler Aaron. They finally got off the Island to civilization and found that it was all one giant mistake. None of them are truly happy. Jack is a drug addict, Sayid's soul slowly died piece by piece for every assassination Ben sent him on, Hurley went back to the insane asylum, Sun became the head of her father's company and Widmore's partner, and Kate became a fairly impressive Mama Bear. She didn't end up in jail either, so Kate probably wins the 'My life doesn't completely suck' award. Jack and Ben join forces to take Locke's dead body and find a safe place for it, with both of them completely on board for going back to the Island. Ben insists they need everyone, and smartly cleans Jack out by throwing away his pills. Sayid broke Hurley out of the insane asylum and does some of his crazy ninja awesome moves on the people trying to kill them, causing Sayid to be tranq'ed and Hurley in the position of power. Oooooh no. Everyone is hunting Hurley for the crimes that Sayid committed, and poor Jumbotron has no idea what to do. Until he gets a visit from a very good friend.
Ana Lucia! Wow. Good to see Michelle Rodriguez back; she is much more welcome now than when she was an actual character. She gives Hurley some advice, and then wanders off to go make "Fast and Furious." Hurley goes to his house where his parents think he's both crazy and possibly a murderer, but they actually back him off, proving yet again they are few of the semi-decent parents on this show. Cheech/Hurley's dad takes Sayid to Jack, who stupidly takes him to the hospital. It doesn't matter because the real danger apparently is from Ben, who hunts Hurley down and gives that really creepy smile you want to trust but know not to. 'Come with me,' it says, I promise not to gas your entire village or shoot you into a mass skeleton grave.' Hurley doesn't fall for it and runs out to get arrested, which is exactly the thing dead Ana Lucia told him not to do. Ben goes and cries about it to Ms. Hawkins, who you might remember from Desmond's episode "Flashes Before Your Eyes." Could she be Dan's mother? Why would we even think that? Well ….
There are only a handful of Islanders left back. The big names include Sawyer, Juliet, Rose, Bernard, Miles, Daniel, Locke and Charlotte. The rest are red shirts, such as Frogurt/Neal, or random people. Their story begins exactly after the Island moves, and almost immediately things start getting weird. Their camp is missing. The tents, food, fire, and everything else in the little village is gone. Locke also has one minute where he is standing with the Others, and the next he is completely alone. Daniel Faraday is the new hero of the hour as he quickly tries to explain to an angry (and shirtless!) Sawyer how the Island is currently skipping like a CD. They are experiencing the past, future, present, anything it feels like doing until it rights. How they can do that is not explained, or rather, Daniel says it cannot unless the people who left return. They have to go back! Even Dan says so! Sawyer now believes that the helicopter blew up with the freighter and Kate is dead, so he angrily storms about throwing temper tantrums until Frogurt does a much more spectacular freak out. Then Frogurt gets hit in the chest with a fire arrow. Awesome.
Locke meets a past Richard, who gives all sorts of cryptic information about how he has to get everyone back … and to do that, he'll have to die. Yeah. It makes about as much sense as it sounds. Cut that together with Charlotte starting to have nose bleeds which causes Daniel to have a cute geeky melt down and go slam on the hatch door where Desmond, in the past, still is pushing that button. He says Desmond is 'special' and doesn't have to follow the rules, so he must go back to the Island and help them. Flash to three years later with Desmond and Penny living in bliss, and he wakes up to this new memory he apparently forgot he had. Daniel told him in the last instant he had to find his mother, who lives in Oxford, so it is Desmond to the rescue. Why would Ms. Hawkins be his mother? Well she too is all about the time travel, conspicuously shows up soon after, and because it would be really impressive to have that random of a connection. "Lost" is all about connections.
So what is coming up? No one has any idea, but Ben only has 70 hours to get all of them together and back to the Island, including Hurley who is jail. Oh, and Sun might be going evil since she talks to Kate about how Kate sacrificed Jin in a creepy calm way. Has she turned to the dark side? We'll have to see. OMG, "Lost" is back!
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